And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The feeling are messing with the penis
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
