omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
