i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Sorry my hands just texted you
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
