I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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