I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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