Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
