Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
