I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize