you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize