I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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