now i know why i became what i already was.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
