Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
