Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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