8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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