I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
