it wasn't lemon gatorade
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
