god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
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they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
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I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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