God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
