I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
