that's an acceptable place to lick
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
