You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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