Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
