the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize