after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
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I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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