We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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