I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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