im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
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I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
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He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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