I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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