Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
