Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
