..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
