So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
