I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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