ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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