The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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