I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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