He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
