4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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