god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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