just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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