there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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