I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
