first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I have aggressive nipples.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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