Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
