I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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