I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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