I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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