whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
