Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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