this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
