Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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