I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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