im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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