I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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