every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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