i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
