Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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