I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
