didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
