he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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