Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
