Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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